Article item posted on Tuesday, September 15th 2009 at 1:15 am

Once upon time, in the far off 1990’s, I used to teach.

I taught a variety of courses from introduction to computers, office and job seeking skills as well as training business start-ups. These courses assisted long term unemployed people re-enter the workforce.  They were accredited TAFE courses and recognized nationally.

I also worked as a consultant to a variety of organizations including TAFE and private enterprise.

It was a challenging and a necessary job,  one that could easily drain you by days end.  It also had pretty simple rules.  It was about outcomes.  It wasn’t how low an organization could bid, it was how many “hits” the organization and it’s trainers could achieve.  My average was 73%.  That means on average 73% of my students achieved full time employment by or soon after the twelve week course.  This was considered a very good ratio given these people were often 3 to 10 years or more out of work. At or just above 50% and you probably wouldn’t be called to teach next term.

It was not a perfect system.  But by and large it worked.

The job seekers’ self esteem was considered.  They were treated as humans – not as statistics and certainly never as a “problem.”

When John Howard took government, it all went.  His new system meant the lowest bidder got to make the biggest bucks.  Outcomes were not as important as low cost.  Trainers such as myself – who were paid more than trainers in equivalent positions today – were told our services were “too expensive” under the new regime.

Performance fell across the board because we didn’t have the resources or staff to achieve it.

The entire job-training structure was bastardized.  I should know, I wrote part of the curriculum for one Australian state that was used during the Keating years and until Howard’s hatchet job.

I’m not complaining about the loss of the contracts. I’m a software developer and teaching was a great way to unwind.

But for the unemployed or those re-entering the workforce, it became a soul destroying exercise when the guilt is laid on as thick as treacle. The index finger of authority started chiding the unemployed and untrained, laying the blame squarely at their feet.

Howard’s regime was agony with it’s soul destroying “Work for the Dole” incarceration.  Conservatives self-servingly believe people without work “…it simply has to be their fault!”  And “They should work for the price of the bus fare.”

Some thought when the ALP took office – bugles blaring for the Aussie worker – we’d see a return to decency, consideration,  self respect and empathy.

Instead the system is  worse.  I know of one professional – bachelor degree education and fully qualified in her field – struggling to return to the workforce in a compressed labour market.

Instead of helping, the Centrelink-appointed private agency is trying to get this person to work in a coffee shop!!   Hell!  The agency doesn’t get a commission if this  professional selfishly and incoveniently finds a position she is actually qualified for.  The agency makes money by shoving them into a cafe to serve drinks, not by finding work that matches their skills .  This is no isolated incident.  It’s virtually “policy” under Labor’s mash up of Howard’s cruel scheme.

Yes – that’s the future of our professionals who step back from the workforce to perform “unimportant things”.  You know,  like child rearing; you know, Australia’s future.  Instead, force them into unsuitable casual jobs, because some coffee shop has an immediate vacancy.

How can this be?  This is idiocy of the first calibre.

Now – a conservative lost so far down the garden path he needs a machete to get back – Malcolm Turnbull is calling for the ALP to fix a system his predecessor butchered like Vlad The Economic Impaler.

Turnbull the Transmogrified said:

““They (government) need a thorough top-to-tail review of the whole program … to see which parts of it are working and which parts of it are not.”

Well Malcolm, in a sense they did – they used your government’s model and expanded it’s underlying ethos.  The real problem here is the replacement is more reactionary than even a conservative would dare put their name to.

It must be excruciating for Malcolm Turnbull to realize, as embattled leader, that the left are operating farther right than his party is.  Maybe he should have joined the ALP after all – back in November 6, 1999?

Seriously – the Liberal Party of Australia needs a new leader.  Somebody who can “keep the faith”.

They need these qualities right now.  So I’m taking this opportunity to act as a temporary, and entirely unofficial (though fully qualified), Job Network provider for them.

If you have the qualities below, please consider nominating at a Liberal office in your state.  You will need the following skills and disciplines:

A raft of Simplistic Solutions.

A years supply of one liners for “Question Time”.

The ability to “…feed the chooks.”  (the press).

Clueless Enthusiasm.

A firm commitment to the gospel of St Howard that “…all workers are unwashed, lazy peasants!”

The ability to place both feet in mouth simultaneously.

The ability to yell abuse at constituents who disagree.

The capacity to speak for a very long time saying absolutely nothing.

A firm, unshakeable belief that you were born to rule.

A signed, life sized poster of your favourite person in all the world – the name better start with John and end with Howard.

A unique conservative friendly policy that Labor haven’t hi-jacked yet.

The ability to select the right colour for each occasion.

I think they should appoint their very own Fran Bailey.  Fran has already proven she has these qualities and more.  Fran knows that there is only one colour for any occassion:  pink.

It’s the panacea the conservatives need – as they sit out the coming decade in the political wilderness of opposition.

————–

Scott Kane

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